Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
