i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
