Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
