You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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