I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
