u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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