we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
