yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
being pregnant is like rehab
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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