omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
