So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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