She is in my trunk
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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