He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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