It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
