the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
