if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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