if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
