somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize