I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Holy sore nipples Batman
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
