My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
