Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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