there's paper in my vomit.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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