Dual....:-)
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
