Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
