He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
