Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Drunk is not a location!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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