yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize