I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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