high people should be assigned attendants
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
