he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
