You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
high people should be assigned attendants
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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