you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
