Kareoke will never be a sober sport
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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