butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize