I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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