Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
