Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
