I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize