Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
