You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Randomize
