would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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