I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
