I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
