when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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