ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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