put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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