...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
