Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
