therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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