She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
