Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
