they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
