people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize