I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
