I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
