lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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